"N.S. Maher's Baby"

It was a rainy Saturday in February of this year. My friend, Nick and I were driving back from Columbia, SC as we were passing by Orangeburg, SC, I asked him if he would like to stop at the cemetery. He says yes, he would love that. He tries to recall the name of the cemetery and said it had Memorial in the name but not sure of the exact location. He remembers the name of the funeral home that handled the arrangements all those years ago. Dukes Harley Funeral Home. A quick search says they are closed on Saturdays. We put the location into Google Maps and head there. 

We arrive to locked front doors but there are a few cars on the side of the building. I see lights on in the office. I pull up to the side door and tell Nick to try that door. He gets out, tries the door which is unlocked and he goes right in. While he’s inside I pull up my FindAGrave app on my phone and search the nearby location and find four cemeteries with ‘Memorial’ in the name. Which one is it? I click on each cemetery and search for the name Maher. Nothing. Nick is in the funeral office for a while, maybe ten minutes. That’s good, someone is definitely helping him get the information he needs. While waiting for him to come back I grab two umbrellas in my trunk - we’re going to need them! It’s a rainy Southern winter day. He finally emerges with a hand-drawn map and the location in the cemetery that we are looking for. The funeral director was just getting ready to leave when Nick walked in but he pulled out the archive book and he couldn’t have been nicer. Such a nice man! 

The cemetery is only 3 or 4 miles away so we head over. Mr. Nice Funeral Director gave us the names of some other stones as landmarks.  We find the exact section and get out and start looking for the grave. We are in the section where all the infants and babies are buried. I can tell by the markers. We can’t seem to find the headstone. The rain starts coming down harder. It HAS to be here somewhere. Nick walks further down the aisle. It's pouring hard. Suddenly I see a spot that is sort of a slight bump or depression in the ground. It’s a flat stone covered with leaves and mud. I move the debris and I see the letter N then the letters Ma. This is it!!! I yell to Nick that I found him. The letters are packed with dirt and mud making the stone very hard to read. I run to the car and grab a small towel and I wipe it off and grab a stick to get the mud out of the letters. There. It’s clean.

Nick is emotional. This is his firstborn son. The stone reads N. S. Maher’s Baby. That wasn’t uncommon when a baby was born stillborn. So many other headstones have a similar engraving with a parent of a baby’s name on it. I ask Nick what did he name his son. He said his name is Robert Nason Maher. Nason was his mother’s maiden name. Nick and his first wife didn’t expect the death of their son. Everything was fine right up until the end. Nick told me that the cord had been wrapped around the baby’s neck in utero. The baby stopped moving and his wife knew something was wrong. Even all these years later, Nick is still affected by this event that would change the course of his life. His marriage did not survive the death of their son. Three years later they would divorce never to talk again until almost 45 years later. He’s only been here one other time since the funeral, about 20 years ago when he came to this grave.  At that time Nick spent over an hour with his son and let all the emotions that were locked away so long ago come out. He also took a photo of the grave. He wrote a letter to his ex-wife and sent her the photo. He apologized to her for the end of the marriage and expressed his sorrow for all that happened so long ago. She later told him that she really appreciated that letter and the photo. She passed in 2016.  Fast forward to 2018 and he still has all those emotions from the funeral and from his visit 20 years ago.

I told Nick that I was going to make a proper memorial on FindAGrave for Robert. Baby Maher's Grave. Everyone should know his name and he should be remembered. Please leave a flower and or note on his FindAGrave memorial. Nick was so appreciative. I think I made Nick's day. The next day I got an email that said: “I can’t begin to tell you……” My friend Nick turned 81 years old in February. Robert Nason Maher would have been 55 years old this month on May 3rd. So, this is my birthday gift to him. You are not forgotten. People will see your name and will know whose son you were. Your headstone won’t just be an unknown forgotten name. Nicholas Snow Maher & Caroline Nason Maher’s Baby, Robert Nason Maher. Happy Birthday Robert.